Thursday, November 20, 2008

The demise of the semester

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

My 5th semester just ended few days ago. Hate to admit it, but it didn't end up as how I thought it should be. I thought I did my best but sometimes things didn't go my way. It's been long since I had this major frustration, years and years ago. Back then, I would never be able to deal with this, I mean it. How you had struggled all along and yet the result is not like how you think it should be.

I tried to console my heart as much as I could, trying to accept this huge blow after blow. Many times I would tell myself at one point to give on everything. However the lesser devil of me said, this is what He had promised. The closer one is trying to get closer to Him, the tougher the trials and tribulations that will come afflicting one. Let's take a stroll down the history of our Prophet s.a.w. and ponder upon closely on the infamous event called the Year of Grief. (I'm just going to mention this event in brief though)

Migration to Taif

After the death of Abu Talib the Quraish availed this opportunity and left no stone unturned in persecuting the prophet. When he felt disappointed by the callousness of the people of Makkah in embracing Islam, Prophet's left for Taif with Zaid him Harithah in the last week of Syawwal of the 10th year of Prophethood. There prophet's invited the citizens of Taif toward Islam and remained busy in propagation of Islam and divine guidance continuously for full one month, but not a single person accepted the honour of embracing Islam. On the contrary they incited the vagabonds of the city to harass and torture the Prophet. These stonehearted and unfortunate people chased the Holy Prophet s.a.w. so much that, if his grace of being the mercy of the worlds had not served as a check, one word of a curse from his lips would nave annihilated the from the face of the earth due to their malicious activities.

These wretched people pelted him with stones, which badly injured Prophet's feet. Zaid bin Harithah shielded him by himself confronting the stones from every side he was being hurled on the Prophet, so much that his own head was injured. After one month's stay in Taif the Mercy of the world (s.a.w.) had to return home with his ankles smeared with blood, but even then not a word of curse (against the miscreants) was uttered by him.

It's All Our Own Fault

Even Rasulullah s.a.w. himself cannot be guaranteed that what he did will yield the expected outcome. It is in fact a form of test from the All- Mercy and All-Forgiving to determine who is truly patient, persevered and truly a believer. 

Do you think that you will enter Paradise before Allah tests those of you who fought (in His Cause) and (also) tests those who are As-Sabirin (the patient ones, etc.)? (3:142)

Reflecting all this again, I realized that I still have to rectify a lot of things. It's ultimately my own fault, my past mistakes. The dark past that used and still haunting me at times.

(What is the matter with you?) When a single disaster smites you, although you smote (your enemies) with one twice as great, you say: "From where does this come to us?" Say (to them), "It is from yourselves (because of your evil deeds)." And Allah has power over all things. (3:165)

Always bear in mind that the torment and punishment that Allah has prepared for us is indeed painful and unimaginably severe. However never lose faith in Him that he is also the Most Forgiving and the most Merciful. Forgive me o Allah for all my past mistakes.

~Will be silent for quite some time, taking a short sabbatical to rectify my past mistakes~

p/s -> I am currently in KL, spending my summer break here at home. I will be using this mobile number throughout this summer break insyaAllah. (019 6466291)

Masih Ada Waktu - Rast

Sahabat.. Masih ada waktu
Untuk kau dan aku menghitung
Dosa-dosa lalu

Lantas membasuhnya
Kembali menyinar
Menghiasi taman-taman kasih

Masih ada waktu bagi kita
Mengikis coreng-coreng mazmumah
Dan mengutip kuntuman mahmudah
Menghiasi kamar hidup ini

Dan masih ada waktu bagi kita
Untuk memupuk kasih dan sayang
Sekuntum cinta Ilahi
Seagung cinta yang murni

Moga ukhuwwah yang dicipta ini
Kan terjalin bersama mesra sejati
Bersama memupuk kasih cinta Ilahi
Moga bahagia di negeri abadi

والله علم
والسلام عليكم

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Uhibbukum Fillah

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

I had so much trouble in making this video. Firstly, this is my first time ever making a video. So yeah, pardon me if it is not interesting. Secondly, I'm using Mac. I had a lot of trouble to convert and compress it to a compatible format so that it can be uploaded on Youtube and also be played from a Windows platform machine.

To Azmir and Rafi: If you want to view the full high quality video, you have to view it from my laptop. We all here are going to miss you.

Teman, betapa pilunya hati
Menghadapi perpisahan ini
Pahit manis perjuangan
Telah kita rasa bersama

Semoga Allah meredhai
Persahabatan dan perpisahan ini


Anyway. Here it is. ~Back to exam mode~

والله علم
والسلام عليكم

Friday, November 7, 2008

Siapakah kita?

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Not posting anything serious... I found this picture on the net, I thought it was comical in a way. 

Siapakah orang yang sombong?
Orang yang sombong adalah orang yang di beri penghidupan tapi tidak mahu sujud pada yang menjadikan kehidupan itu iaitu Allah Rabbul alaamin, Tuhan sekelian alam. Maka bertasbihlah segala apa yang ada di bumi dan langit pada TuhanNya kecuali jin dan manusia yang sombong diri

Siapakah orang yang kuat?
Orang yang kuat ialah orang yang dapat menahan kemarahannya ketika ia dalam kemarahan

Siapakah orang yang telah mati hatinya?
Orang yang telah mati hatinya adalah orang yang diberi petunjuk melalui ayat-ayat Quran, Hadis dan cerita-cerita kebaikan namun merasa tidak ada apa-apa kesan di dalam jiwa untuk bertaubat.

Siapakah orang yang dungu otaknya?
Orang yang dungu otaknya ialah orang yang tidak mahu melakukan ibadat tetapi menyangka bahawa Tuhan tidak akan menyiksanya dengan kelalaiannya itu dan sering merasa tenang dengan kemaksiatannya.

Siapakah orang yang lemah?
Orang yang lemah ialah orang yang melihat akan kemaksiatan di depan matanya tetapi tidak sedikitpun menunjukkan kebencian di dalam hatinya akan kemunkaran itu.

Siapakah orang yang bakhil?
Orang yang bakhil lagi kedekut ialah orang yang berat lidahnya untuk membaca selawat keatas junjungan Rasulullah s.a.w.

Siapakah orang yang buta?
Orang yang buta adalah orang yang tidak mahu membaca dan meneliti akan kebesaran Al Quran dan tidak mahu mengambil pelajaran daripadanya.

Siapakah orang yang tuli?
Orang yang tuli adalah orang yang diberi nasihat dan pengajaran yang baik namun tidak diendahkannya.

Siapakah orang yang sibuk?
Orang yang sibuk adalah orang yang tidak mengambil berat akan waktu solatnya seolah-olah ia mempunyai kerajaan seperti kerajaan Nabi Sulaiman a.s.

Siapakah orang yang manis senyumannya?
Orang yang mempunyai senyuman yang manis adalah orang yang ditimpa musibah lalu dia kata “Inna lillahi wainna illaihi rajiuun.” Lalu sambil berkata, “Ya Rabbi, Aku redha dengan ketentuanMu ini”, sambil mengukir senyuman.

Siapakah orang yang menangis airmata mutiara?
Orang yang menangis air mata mutiara adalah orang-orang yang sedang bersendiri lalu mengingat akan kebesaran Tuhan dan menyesal akan dosa-dosanya lalu mengalir air matanya.

Siapakah orang yang kaya?
Orang yang kaya adalah orang yang bersyukur dengan apa yang ada dan tidak loba akan kenikmatan dunia yang sementara ini.

Siapakah orang yang miskin?
Orang yang miskin adalah orang yang tidak puas dengan nikmat yang ada sebaliknya sentiasa menumpuk-numpukkan hartanya.

Siapakah orang yang pandai?
Orang yang pandai ialah orang yang bersiap-siap untuk hari kematiannya kerana dunia ini berusia pendek sedang akhirat kekal abadi.

Siapakah orang yang bodoh?
Orang yang bodoh ialah orang yang beria-ia berusaha sekuat tenaga untuk dunianya sedangkah akhiratnya diabaikan.

Siapakah orang yang maju dalam hidupnya?
Orang yang maju dalam hidupnya adalah orang-orang yang sentiasa mempertingkat ilmu agamanya.

Siapakah orang-orang yang mundur hidupnya?
Orang yang mundur dalam hidupnya adalah orang yang tidak memperdulikan akan halal dan haramnya akan sesuatu perkara itu.

Siapakah orang yang gila itu?
Orang yang gila itu ialah orang yang tidak sembahyang kerana hanya dua syarat saja yang memperbolehkan seseorang meninggalkan sembahyang, pertama sekiranya ia haid dan kedua ketika ia tidak siuman akalnya.

Siapakah orang yang rugi?
Orang yang rugi ialah orang yang sudah sampai usia pertengahan namun masih berat untuk melakukan ibadat dan amal-amal kebaikan.

Siapakah orang yang selalu ditipu?
Orang yang selalu ditipu ialah orang muda yang menyangka bahawa kematian itu berlaku hanya pada orang tua.

Siapakah orang yang paling cantik?
Orang yang paling cantik ialah orang yang mempunyai akhlak yang baik.

Siapakah orang yang mempunyai rumah yg paling luas?
Orang yang mempunyai rumah yang paling luas ialah orang yang mati membawa amal-amal kebaikan. Kuburnya akan diperluaskan saujana mata memandang.

Siapakah orang yg mempunyai rumah yang sempit?
Orang yang mempunyai rumah yang sempit lagi dihimpit ialah orang yang mati tidak membawa amal-amal kebaikan lalu kuburnya akan menghimpitnya.

Siapakah orang yang mempunyai akal?
Orang yang mempunyai akal ialah orang-orang yang menghuni syurga kelak kerana telah menggunakan akal sewaktu di dunia untuk menghindari seksa neraka.

والله علم
والسلام عليكم

Thursday, November 6, 2008

A letter of mawaddah, a declaration of iman

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

"The one whom she loves, whose name she mentions in her prayers and constantly keeps her awake at night is YOU!"

Fahri was shattered upon hearing that proposal brought forth to him just days away from his wedding. But she didn't know. She didn't know...

Tears began to stream down Fahri's cheeks.

"If only she had mentioned it earlier. Why must it be destined this way? The one news I had been waiting so long to hear have come to me just too late. Too late..."


One who has the modesty like those of pure heart.

Ever striving with strength and courage as a mujahidah of Allah subhanahu wa taala.

Assalamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.

As I pen this letter, my heart remains in turmoil. I have been incessantly whispering prayers to Allah to make your heart at peace and your mind at ease, to cleanse your soul and release you from the shackles of grief and sadness.


Thank you for all that you have done and all that you have said. I understand with all my heart what you have been saying. If you feel that you need to be true to your feelings of love, then I feel the need to be true to the tremors in my own heart. The tremors of guilt and fear of forsaking His Unparallelled Love for yours. Al Hubb Fillah. Love for the sake of Allah. We both know the boundaries of His Laws, and I am unwilling to traverse a path of disobedience.


In life, love is not everything. There are many things more important than love. In fact, if we are in love, let that love be a doorway towards our submission to Him. Let's not let our emotions overcome us. Let's use our mental faculties, because the wonders of our mind is one of many proofs of The Creator. We still have bright futures ahead of us. We have our families who are dependent on us as their child who will share their sad and happy moments, and someone who constantly brings the light of Islam back home. Be who you were before I came into your life - a person full of spirit and zest, and who brings smiles to everyone around them.


Please realize what your actions will lead to. By following your emotions, you will continue to have such deep feelings of regret which will lead to self-destruction. Remember, our religion enjoins the Straight Path and prohibits us from hurting ourselves in any way, for any reason whatsoever. Shackling one's self with grief and sadness because of love is contradictory to the Sunnah of our beloved Prophet.


The pure love between a man and a woman is a love that can only exist after the couple has been solemnized. A love towards our lifelong partner which is legal in the eyes of Islam. Love before marriage is a love that cannot to be seen as either 'pure' or 'astounding'.


The world is a wide expanse. There are thousands of pious men who are yet to be married, and I'm sure there are plenty of them among your acquaintances. Choose one and marry him, and you will experience a love more beautiful than you have ever experienced. A love within a blissful marriage.


Sometimes, through mere accident or coincidence, we cause grief and hardships upon others. And that is what my presence have done to you. Forgive me. May Allah continue to show you the Right Path and shower you with His Blessings, and may He forgive us all.


"Jihad (holy fighting in Allah's Cause) is ordained for you (Muslims) though you dislike it. But it is possible that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and that you love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knows, and you know not." [2:216]

The above entry is loosely translated (with some modifications) from the bestselling Malay novel, "Ayat-Ayat Cinta" (Verses of Love) by Habiburrahman El Shirazy.

Imagine, it took me quite some time to finish this book. Mainly it was just due to many other things that I had given higher priorities over finishing this novel... Well finally I managed to finish the last few chapters right after my Thermal Engineering exam yesterday... 

The setup of the story was a bit too ideal, too good to be true (well I'm judging based on the present situation. I'm not trying to be pessimist but it's not impossible for us to build the 'ideal' future given that we follow the right path). Nevertheless, the novel was very well-written. Now I can see why this novel is among the best-sellers... huhu

والله علم
والسلام عليكم

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Boys don't cry...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

It was this day, I can still remember. The first time I had 'death' event in my family. I knelt down, leaned forward and planted a kiss on grandma's forehead. Her skin was cold and pale. The strong scent of the potpourri of flowers emanated from her. I looked up. All around me, women were teary-eyed. Some were clearly sobbing.

With a queue behind me waiting for their turns, I stood up and quickly made my way outside. At the corridor, the men stood around looking stoic and serious. Very little was said. A few were leaned agaist the parapet nonchalantly puffing on their cigarettes.

I was 8 years old. It was my first funeral. I didn't cry. Only girls were supposed to cry. Boys don't cry... 

Dad, the Discipline Master

The sound of shattering glass echoed in the living room. Mum rushed out from the kitchen to see what had happened.

"Wait till your dad gets back! You're really gonna get it..." she said swaying her ladel at me.

I quickly grabbed the soccer ball and hid it in my bedroom, and dreaded my dad's return. The thick leather belt hung ominously in my parent's bedroom. I could almost hear it sniggering, for we shall get reacquainted soon... yet again...

I grew up with my parents in very traditional roles. Just like the "Good cop, bad cop" routine you see on TV, Mum played the role of good cop while Dad played the other.

The loving Mum and the disciplinarian Dad.

This dualism of roles is not only played out in our Malay/Muslim community, but is inherent in most parts of the modern world. Reinforced by stereotypes, these roles were considered de facto standards in managing a family well.

However, the image of the strong, silent Alpha male is actually damaging towards the male's emotional and psychological well-being, and it also creates a false model of manhood that is followed by the younger generation.

To maintain this Alpha male facade, men usually try to remain emotionally detached from issues that occur around them. Even personal issues and family issues are sometimes dealt with in a "professional manner". That's why men are poor listeners because they wouldn't want to get too deeply involved emotionally, and they will quickly push aside these problems by providing quick fixes. Men gauge their success by the results gained from these quick fixes.

The important role of being a loving companion for both wife and kids are often much forgotten because this requires a whole lot of conversation and dads are never comfortable with breaking the image of being a pillar of strength for the family. But is true strength measured by a lack of emotional openness?

The Tears of Rasulullah and His Companions

Rasulullah saw, our true role model, was a model of manhood. He was not a man devoid of emotions. He got angry. He laughed. He cried...

“Rasulullah saw entered the room while his son, Ibrahim, was dying. Upon that, his eyes started shedding tears. Then `Abdur-Rahman ibn `Awf said, ‘Even you, Messenger of Allah?!’ Then he said ‘Oh Ibn `Awf! It is but mercy.’ He continued (crying) some more and then said:

“The eyes weep, the heart is full of grief, and we are nothing but that which does not please our Lord. Verily, we are sorrowed for your departure, oh Ibrahim!” [ Hadith Narrated by Imam Bukhari and Muslim ]

When the child (his daughter's son) was brought to the Prophet his breath was disturbed in his chest as if it were in a water skin. On that the eyes of the Prophet became flooded with tears, whereupon Sa'd said to him, "Oh Allah's Apostle! What is this?"

The Prophet said, "This is mercy which Allah has put in the heart of His slaves, and Allah bestows His mercy only on those of His slaves who are merciful (to others)." [ Hadith Narrated by Imam Bukhari ]

The first caliph of Islam, as appointed by Rasulullah saw, was Abu Bakr RA. He was well-known as the companion with the softest of hearts and hence his position as the companion most loved by our prophet.

When Rasulullah saw came to 'A'isha's house, he said: Ask Abu Bakr to lead people in prayer. 'A'isha narrated: I said, Messenger of Allah, Abu Bakr is a man of tenderly feelings; as he recites the Qur'an, he cannot help shedding tears... [ Hadith Narrated by Imam Muslim ]

The second caliph of Islam, 'Umar Ibn Khattab RA, was renowned as the brave warrior who was feared by the Quraish. But, he was the companion to grief the most upon the passing of Rasulullah saw. And there exist several narrations of his soft-heartedness and piety after being appointed caliph.

After the death of Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) Abu Bakr said to 'Umar: 'Let's visit Umm Aiman as Rasulullah saw used to visit her.'

As we came to her, she wept. They (Abu Bakr and Umar) said to her: What makes you weep? What is in store (in the next world) for Rasulullah saw is better than (this worldly life).

She said: I weep not because I am ignorant of the fact that what is in store for Rasulullah saw (in the next world) is better than (this world), but I weep because the revelation which came from the Heaven has ceased to come. This moved both of them to tears and they began to weep along with her. [ Hadith Narrated by Imam Muslim ]

Boys Don't Cry?

The true problem of the culture of denying or repressing emotions is that it will manifest itself into different forms and will never be resolved. The male tendency to get angry and be short-tempered is a direct result of issues of grief not being directly addressed and overcome.

Yes, crying doesn't solve any problems, but it does provide a channel of emotional release. The creation of fads such as "The Sensitive New Age Guy (SNAG)" or "EMO" is also a result of our male teens and youth's need to address these negative feelings by being more open emotionally. It has its positive aspects but in truth, there is no need for such tags or labels.

Raise your hands in supplication. Seek help from Allah. Cry.

Curl up in bed. Hug your pillow. Cry yourself to sleep. It takes much more strength to cry than not to cry. Cry. Boys do cry... sometimes.

Cry it out... and seek help and refuge from Allah s.w.t. for He is the All-Listener, All-Knowing, the All-Sustainer.

Pondering over the following verses of Quran in the video below...

والله علم
والسلام عليكم