The demise of the semester

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

My 5th semester just ended few days ago. Hate to admit it, but it didn't end up as how I thought it should be. I thought I did my best but sometimes things didn't go my way. It's been long since I had this major frustration, years and years ago. Back then, I would never be able to deal with this, I mean it. How you had struggled all along and yet the result is not like how you think it should be.

I tried to console my heart as much as I could, trying to accept this huge blow after blow. Many times I would tell myself at one point to give on everything. However the lesser devil of me said, this is what He had promised. The closer one is trying to get closer to Him, the tougher the trials and tribulations that will come afflicting one. Let's take a stroll down the history of our Prophet s.a.w. and ponder upon closely on the infamous event called the Year of Grief. (I'm just going to mention this event in brief though)

Migration to Taif

After the death of Abu Talib the Quraish availed this opportunity and left no stone unturned in persecuting the prophet. When he felt disappointed by the callousness of the people of Makkah in embracing Islam, Prophet's left for Taif with Zaid him Harithah in the last week of Syawwal of the 10th year of Prophethood. There prophet's invited the citizens of Taif toward Islam and remained busy in propagation of Islam and divine guidance continuously for full one month, but not a single person accepted the honour of embracing Islam. On the contrary they incited the vagabonds of the city to harass and torture the Prophet. These stonehearted and unfortunate people chased the Holy Prophet s.a.w. so much that, if his grace of being the mercy of the worlds had not served as a check, one word of a curse from his lips would nave annihilated the from the face of the earth due to their malicious activities.

These wretched people pelted him with stones, which badly injured Prophet's feet. Zaid bin Harithah shielded him by himself confronting the stones from every side he was being hurled on the Prophet, so much that his own head was injured. After one month's stay in Taif the Mercy of the world (s.a.w.) had to return home with his ankles smeared with blood, but even then not a word of curse (against the miscreants) was uttered by him.

It's All Our Own Fault

Even Rasulullah s.a.w. himself cannot be guaranteed that what he did will yield the expected outcome. It is in fact a form of test from the All- Mercy and All-Forgiving to determine who is truly patient, persevered and truly a believer. 


Do you think that you will enter Paradise before Allah tests those of you who fought (in His Cause) and (also) tests those who are As-Sabirin (the patient ones, etc.)? (3:142)

Reflecting all this again, I realized that I still have to rectify a lot of things. It's ultimately my own fault, my past mistakes. The dark past that used and still haunting me at times.

(What is the matter with you?) When a single disaster smites you, although you smote (your enemies) with one twice as great, you say: "From where does this come to us?" Say (to them), "It is from yourselves (because of your evil deeds)." And Allah has power over all things. (3:165)

Always bear in mind that the torment and punishment that Allah has prepared for us is indeed painful and unimaginably severe. However never lose faith in Him that he is also the Most Forgiving and the most Merciful. Forgive me o Allah for all my past mistakes.

~Will be silent for quite some time, taking a short sabbatical to rectify my past mistakes~

p/s -> I am currently in KL, spending my summer break here at home. I will be using this mobile number throughout this summer break insyaAllah. (019 6466291)

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Menghiasi kamar hidup ini

Dan masih ada waktu bagi kita
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Seagung cinta yang murni

Moga ukhuwwah yang dicipta ini
Kan terjalin bersama mesra sejati
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Moga bahagia di negeri abadi

والله علم

والسلام عليكم